Tuesday, February 8, 2011

The Depth of Black

First, my self-portrait...

Click to view on black...

Created in my sketchbook with black markers, a little black crayon, some grey marker on the me,
and just a touch of the other colors of the rainbow, because Black contains them all.

1. In the story, Little Bird meets Black and is challenged to discover who her authentic, real self is. How well do you know your own authentic self? We asked you to create a portrait of your self at the beginning of this adventure. How well do you think that portrait describes your real, authentic self? I believe it's fairly accurate. All of the words I had originally added, when I asked others to describe me, were the same or synonyms of their replies.

2. After having read Chapter One and meeting Black, is there anything that you would like to add to your initial portrait? Yes. I have since added a few words: driver and computer user. And I think more of the dark, not-so-pretty words to describe me should maybe be added as well, like fearful, depressed, angry... but I didn't want those words so permanently displayed and connected to Me... perhaps, I shall add them in pencil - which would continue the Black theme, but allow for impermanence unlike the marker...

3. Little Bird of the story has been gifted with artistic talent. What would you say are your own gifts and talents? Creativity, kindness, the ability to see beauty and good in everything and everyone...

4. Do you feel you have fully explored them? Why or why not? No, not fully. The creative side of me was squashed for a long time. It's not a productive thing was the message I got. So I am now only beginning to allow myself to explore this side of Me.

5. And how do you think Black would encourage you to explore the depths of those gifts and talents? What would she ask you to do with them? I think Black sees that I am on the right path and would encourage me to continue, make art, take photos, show others the beauty you see, be kind...

6. Some people are afraid of Black, thinking it is evil. Do you feel any fear towards Black? If so, why? I've never seen black as an evil color, and I have no fear of Black. But I do fear the unknown, and I do try to hide from the truth when I fear it may hurt - myself or others.

7. You have seen how Caroline reacts and interacts with Deity as represented by the color Black? If you were in Little Bird’s place, how do you think you would react and interact with the color Black? I am not as effusive as Little Bird and tend to keep a tight rein on my reactions - I try anyway. Likely I would be respectful, but probably too self-conscious or nervous to say much or let much show.

8. Select just one of the gifts and talents that you listed earlier. Write down your plan on how you will improve that gift or talent. Sharing the beauty I see with others is one I feel I really want to work on right now. I don't just mean physical beauty that one can see plainly; I think we call have no trouble with that. But when I am in a classroom, being able to show other teachers and the students the beauty of the world around them, the beauty of a child's interest & enthusiasm, the beauty in their work... that is what is important to me right now. That is what is going to make the biggest change I think.

9. OPTIONAL: Write your own Prayer to Black here. Lady Black, help me to release my fears of the unknown, to see the beauty of everything, to understand the truth of each individual I meet, and especially to see and understand the beauty and truth of ME and not be ashamed.

10. A Ritual for Black: Jacqueline & I did a ritual on the first. I wish my computer hadn't died the next morning because I had been so gung-ho to type out all that happened, and now I can barely remember. ;-; We cast a circle and called the quarters, and then lit a candle to shed light on our truths. We talked about the lessons Black had taught each of us and shared our thoughts on them. Then we added some things to our altar as reminders of these lessons, then extinguished the candle as a reminder that even in the dark the truth is still there if we are open to seeing it.

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