Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Accept Your Truth

Serendipity is a wonderful thing...

This was in my ScrapGirls daily newsletter today; I don't normally *read* it (it's full of ads, but does link to a daily freebie for digital scrapbookers), but I did today. I think this fits in perfect with our Black studies..

By Rozanne Paxman
Muse: To be absorbed in one's thoughts; engage in meditation. Not intended to solve the world's problems, another person's problems, or to cover topics completely. One does not have to agree with musings to enjoy them, just as one does not have to be the same as someone else to appreciate who they are.

I began scolding myself in my journal because I caught myself trying to be something I am not.

"I want to be acceptable," the conversation began.

"Acceptable to whom?" I countered.

"Acceptable to... to..." I thought. "Everybody?"

"That's silly," I shot back. "You can't be acceptable to everyone."

"You're right," I agreed. "I can't control if anyone at all will accept me. There may be times when what I am doing isn't acceptable to anyone."

"Remember what Abraham Lincoln said?"

"You can please most of the people some of the time. You can please some of the people all the time. But you can't please all of the people every time," I paraphrased.

"Correct. So, tell me... who are you?"

"I'm a short, blond, 53-year-old woman with a husband, four children, and two grandchildren. I run a digital scrapbooking company...."

Interrupting the flow of the description, I commanded, "Don't tell me what you are. Tell me who you are. Tell me what your truth is about yourself."

As soon as the thought came to me, I realized that I had stumbled onto something. Who am I? What is my truth?

I began making a list:

  • I am spiritual. I love Heavenly Father and Christ. They are my North Star.
  • I am focused when I work. Perhaps, too focused. I sometimes become unaware of what is happening around me.
  • I am a deep thinker. In fact, I often think so deeply that I get lost in the forest.
  • I am always trying to improve myself. I usually fail, but at least I keep trying.
  • I am not cool. I don't care what is fashionable. I like what I like. The only time I feel unsure about what I like is when I start overanalyzing myself and worrying if people will think I'm dorky.
  • I am an introvert. I enjoy spending time alone with brief expeditions into sociality, which sometimes tire me physically.
  • I am easily bored.
  • I stop and start projects too often.
  • I am serious. Often, too serious.
  • I have a wry sense of humor.
  • I am a teacher.
  • I am a storyteller.
  • I speak in analogies.
  • I am a writer.
  • I am a musician (although not as much as I used to be).
As the list continued, I realized that I have more strengths than I give myself credit for. My strengths often counterbalance my weaknesses. I understood that it doesn't matter if other people see me differently than I see myself.

As I wrote my thoughts in my journal, I saw myself scrawl a phrase that caught my breath. "Accept your truth," it said.

I read the phrase over and over. "Accept your truth. Accept your truth. Accept your truth."

"Yes," I said. "That's it. If I accept my truth, I won't worry about being acceptable. This will open me to the freedom to accept others without worrying if they accept me."

I closed my journal and smiled.

Life is good.

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