Wednesday, July 21, 2010

I have been called to work with Lady Red, from the Temple of the Twelve, and am re-reading the chapters since it's been a while since I read them. The chapters surrounding Red, also deal with Lady Green, who I am drawn to, but not... *now* like I am with Lady Red. One of the things I read today that really moved me was a message from Green I think:

"...Sometimes the simple joy of being alive holds within it powerful, powerful magic. Sometimes you need to do nothing but be, and exult in the being."

And then there was a description of what Lady Red represents, "the color of passion, creativity, and the arts, love, and fire," and I very nearly started to cry. It is so much what I am trying to recapture right now. I've been slowly letting in the creativity and art; I pushed those down for a long time, but it still showed in me, so it must be a very big part of who I am.

And I pushed down the passion with and after T, and R stifled it a bit too with his concern over how other's viewed us. I started to feel it again, when Jacqueline & I first got together, but then T squashed it back down. I spent so much time trying to conform to what he wanted.

And I want that back. That passion, and love & fire. I am starting to feel like I am re-blossoming, but so scared to lose it again...

"Red called her to fall blindly and trustingly into a future she could sense, but not really understand until she lived it. Red called her to jump into the heart of the flame and create. Whatever the consequence. For its own sake... for the sake of creating."

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