Tot12: Red

I started working with Lady Red between the new & full moons of last month, and decided I should continue for at least a full moon turn. So I am still working with her... But unlike Lady Pink, she's been sending me many reminders in the strangest ways, letting me know she is with me. Last week it was cardinals - male cardinals to be specific - that kept hopping into road while I was driving!

I wish I had written down all the things that were happening to lead me to Lady Red and some of the other surprizing *Red* things, because right now I can't remember any but the cardinals, and two specific *other* strange things that, when I look up info on what they could mean, lead me back to Lady Red, but weren't obvious at first glance.

First there was the cicada...


While picnicking at the lake, I was inspired to do some drawing, and shortly after starting, there was a large *PLOP* and this little (?) fellow dropped onto my sketch book. He must have just shed his skin because one wing was a little curled still, which probably led to his falling on my book. I picked him (or her) up and he happily crawled up my sleeve and onto my shoulder where I let him stay until he was ready to fly off.

Naturally when I got home, I wanted to look up what being visited so uniquely by a cicada could mean. The first site I came to (Animal Totems, Dictionary of Insects) said,

"Cicadas aid in your emergence of You and understanding who you are by uncovering hidden truths and secrets that have long been forgotten. Usually this knowledge is just below the surface, so listen to Cicada for he will teach where and how to look. Cicadas will help in the [cycle] of birth, death, and rebirth. Which part of the 13-17 years [cycle] are you in? Cicadas will also teach the art of communication using song or the written word. He will aid in transforming your own voice into an amplification of your heart and your desires to sing your own light. Are you living each moment in the "Now"? Are you ready to emerge from the illusion into the light of truth and understanding? Cicada will teach you much if you are patient."

The second site I found (Cicada Trivia and Lore!) describes cicadas as having "wide set bulging red eyes..." (emphasis mine) and adds,

"The 13 to 17 year cycles of the cicada are very significant to those attached to this symbolic totem. Since the cicada has a short life-span we must learn how to live each moment to the fullest. It is reported that major changes or a death-rebirth process usually occurs within the individuals with the cicada totem every 13 to 17 years."

For me this is significant because it was 13 years ago when I left R, completely changed my life, and started rediscovering my passions; and I feel like right now I am doing a similar thing, reawakening, delving deeper into my passions, changing my life.

How does this relate to Lady Red? Well, for me, she's all about passion! A few days after the cicada visit, I read the last bit on Red & Green of Little Bird's story, and this part described how I feel:

Red helped her to be courageous and confident; she helped Caroline to believe in herself and her talents. Slowly Caroline came to a greater peace about it. Red always made her too excited about the creativity, the art, to be afraid for long. The excitement and joy always took over.

She found red to be a color of courage... inspiration... strength... motivation... energy. This she had known from past lives, but now remembered it. She found herself playing harder and working harder than ever before, for the Red fire was burning in her brightly. It was not a color of stillness, but of action and abundant external life.

This is where I am right now... Still a little afraid of being harshly judged but still so happy to have so many ideas bubbling out and having so many wonderful, supportive people to tell me I'm doing great work...

Then I read a few books by SARK while at my mother's; Eat Mangoes Naked, A Creative Companion, and Make Your Creative Dreams Real only further deepened this sense that I am on the right path with Red. Once home I started reading another book, How to Make a Bird, and came across this:

"It was if the feelings I had for [him] were once just plain-colored feelings, but now they'd darkened and reddened and brightened too, and whatever I did or said would have to come out in this bright red way."

And of course, drop the "for [him]" bit and voilá! This is what Lady Red has done to me! Almost like when Dorothy woke up in Oz and it all went from sepia to Technicolor... This is the reawakening I am experiencing. (Lots of other great imagery in the book, going to post about it soon!)

Then, there was the New Moon. Jacqueline does our New Moon rituals every month, researching what attributes are best focused on, and then she finds affirmations for us, which we hang and read every day. The last New Moon was focused on the Leo Energy, and our affirmations could have been written by Lady Red to me:

I honor my unique talents and special contributions to Life. I recognize the joyful presence of my Inner Child and its creative sense of fun. I respect the part of me that wants to feel special, appreciated, loved, and honored. I value the things that make me Me ... the reasons why I am "one of a kind." I cherish my joyful, playful, "spot-light loving" spirit ... that keeps me forever young.

Then there is the snake...


Ssshhh... don't tell Jacqueline but this little friend is living on our front step. A few days ago I was rearranging the plants and things on the front step and went to see if the wasps were still living under the ceramic bunny. When I lifted it, this little garter snake surprized me!

It slithered away after a few moments of contemplation, and I thought that would be that! But the next day & the next he (or she) was still there! Jacqueline doesn't like *wild* snakes, but I am thinking of this one as our own personal little protector, and obviously with a message for me, since I'm the only one to have discovered it.

So after getting a picture, I looked up what kind it was (common garter snake, as I thought, a young one), and what it meant. And once again was blown out of the water. "STOP KICKING ME IN THE HEAD!" I yelled out! XD The kids think I am insane, but I *get it* Lady Red! LOL!

The words that immediately jumped off the page at me, at the website I stumble across first, were these: "... symbol of transformation and healing ... a protector and guardian totem ... your creative forces are awakening ...signals a transition in your life ... new opportunities and/or changes ... fire medicine ..." (Emphasis mine again...) I didn't even bother to go to another page... I just get it, Lady Red.

OH! And another thing! This morning Jacqueline tells me that the Full Moon is in one week. And although she chose the names from a list wwwwaaaaaayyyyy back in January when she added it to our calendar, this month, we'll be celebrating the RED Full Moon! XD

I don't know if this is Lady Red claiming me as her priestess, or just me being more alert and aware of the messages the colors are bringing. I almost want to go back and work through all the other colors more carefully...

Anyway, I thought it was time to answer some questions...

1. If you were to meet Lady Red as you are today, how do you think she would appear to you? A young woman, late teens/early 20s, wearing a red satin dress, long dark wavy hair, café au lait skin, big light brown eyes, full mouth, big white smile, curvy... barefoot! Beckoning me to come dance, play, swim...

2. What do you think Lady Red represents for you in your life? PASSION! Creativity, sex, courage, doing what feels right and fun and ME!

3. If lady Red were to ask you why you are here in this life, and how you can best serve the Divine, how would you answer Lady Red? OH! My Notes from the Universe told me a little while ago... and I got it... Of all the people experiencing life, *I* am the only one who will see it from my perspective, with my foundation, background, and I am the only one who can share that knowledge (obvy cuz I'm the only one who knows!); that is why I am here. To best serve, I should live my life to its fullest. Experience all the intensity I can. And express myself! Help others see my vision...

4. If you could retreat to a little cabin in the woods, what would you take with you? AAAALLLLLLLL my art supplies - ok a wide variety of them - a few good books, my camera, maybe some music, some good food... Jacqueline? Oh... you mean alone... binoculars, nature books, my cell phone (in case of emergency, off mostly), appropriate shoes & clothing, my pillow...

5. Just as important, what would you leave behind? My computer, obviously some of my art supplies, Jacqueline & the kids (cuz I think I'm supposed to be going alone), my computer, fancy dress clothes, high heels, things the cabin already has?

6. Would your purpose in staying in a little cabin in the woods be the same as it was for Little Bird in the story, or would you have a different purpose? I would go to relax and make lots of art!

7. Tell us in what way you choose to once again hear the voice of the Gods, to heal yourself, to better create your dream. For me, losing myself in my art is how I hear the voice of the Gods. Every drawing is better than the last, every painting is an improvement, and while I get frustrated when things *don't* turn out exactly as planned, sometimes that's the best way to learn, and when I *do* get it how I wanted...? Bliss.

There is also a prayer to & contract with Red, but I think I shall write those a little later...

Boy, splitting up Red & Green questions is hard! Parts of this may be cross posted in my own journal...

I have been called to work with Lady Red, from the Temple of the Twelve, and am re-reading the chapters since it's been a while since I read them. The chapters surrounding Red, also deal with Lady Green, who I am drawn to, but not... *now* like I am with Lady Red. One of the things I read today that really moved me was a message from Green I think:

"...Sometimes the simple joy of being alive holds within it powerful, powerful magic. Sometimes you need to do nothing but be, and exult in the being."

And then there was a description of what Lady Red represents, "the color of passion, creativity, and the arts, love, and fire," and I very nearly started to cry. It is so much what I am trying to recapture right now. I've been slowly letting in the creativity and art; I pushed those down for a long time, but it still showed in me, so it must be a very big part of who I am.

And I pushed down the passion with and after T, and R stifled it a bit too with his concern over how other's viewed us. I started to feel it again, when Jacqueline & I first got together, but then T squashed it back down. I spent so much time trying to conform to what he wanted.

And I want that back. That passion, and love & fire. I am starting to feel like I am re-blossoming, but so scared to lose it again...

"Red called her to fall blindly and trustingly into a future she could sense, but not really understand until she lived it. Red called her to jump into the heart of the flame and create. Whatever the consequence. For its own sake... for the sake of creating."

Temple of the Twelve

So. I've been stuck on Pink (or perhaps just growing in other areas of my life) and haven't really moved forward since February. But the past few days, I have been called to work with Lady Red. It has been a while since I read the book, so I am not sure what this will entail, but I am setting aside some time now to clean off our altar, which is very dusty and covered in spiders webs (I know, bad pagan!), then re-read the chapters in the book & workbook, and meditate on it...

Altar

Since Yule is past, and 12th Night is past, and Imbolc is fast approaching (YAY Spring is on the way!), I have taken down our Yule altar and created one for Imbolc and Pink, since I'll be working with her this month (and possibly Silver too). It seems very bare compared to the last few, which had some larger pieces either on the wall or in the corner....

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